wake up i wanna do it froggy style
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
