Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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