; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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