I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
