she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
