i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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