I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
