youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
