I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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