so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
