At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
