If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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