so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
