Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
