Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
