I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
