The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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