We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
