And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
