there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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