That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
