how do flat chested girls get laid?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is the high leading the old right now
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
