I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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