I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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