omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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