Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
