return my video game
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
