Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
