I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
