I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
