last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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