just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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