Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
