I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
