She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
