Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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