You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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