For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
