thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
