so that wasnt chicken after all
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
