At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
