Whatcha textin bout Willis?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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