the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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