1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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