if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
