And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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