I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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