I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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