College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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