Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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