is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
