pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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