My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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